THUNDER BAY -- Barbara Coloroso says people have to be taught to be mean.
“It’s not a natural behavior,” the world-renowned anti-bullying expert said Wednesday, after speaking with students at Agnew H. Johnston Public School.
“Conflict is, and I showed that to the kids. But you have to be taught to discriminate to have a pre-judgment, a prejudice. You have to be taught to stereotype”
Unfortunately, even today, those types of behaviours are prevalent in society, though she holds out plenty of hope for the young generation, though parents have to be seen to be standing up for values and against injustice for the message to sink in.
“The more our kids swim in a culture of mean, that we create, the less likely we are to be able to break this. But the more we are able to create deeply caring communities for them to be in, the less likely they are to target.”
Coloroso, who also spoke to parents, educators and police during her two-day visit to Thunder Bay, said the message is starting to get through, especially to younger students.
“I actually have more hope for them, because we are seeing collectively more groups saying no, individuals saying I care about the young person.”
Coloroso was blunt in her talk, asking students whether they’d seen or heard any examples of bullying in the hallways at school or on the playground closer to home.
Nearly every student raised their hand.
She taught them the difference between taunting and teasing, good-natured fun and bullying. She even asked what they would do if they saw a slur painted on a wall.
“One kid said you could paint it. One kid said you could replace the board. One kid said he could write he’s not a jerk. They came up with very creative ideas. I want them to see they have agency in their lives. You have the power in your life to make a difference.”
The students, a mixture of grade-school and high-school children, were surprised to learn how mean other kids can be.
Nicholas Littlefield, a Grade 8 student, said it was nice to learn strategies to combat bullying, though he readily admitted he hasn’t seen much at school.
It was an eye-opener.
“I was surprised at how people are so mean to other children, who then want to commit suicide,” he said, having just learned the tragic fate of murdered gay teenager Matthew Sheppard and about Amanda Todd, who was bullied online to the point she took her own life.
Luckily there’s not much bullying at Agnew H. Johnston, he said.
“I think there’s the little stuff there would be in all schools, but I think our school is doing a pretty good job and we don’t have too much bullying,” the teen said.
Nicole Walter-Rowan is Lakehead Public Schools’ program co-ordinator and helped bring Coloroso to Thunder Bay.
Walter-Rowan said it wasn’t enough to teach out of a textbook or an online module.
“Barbara gave beautiful, very explicit examples for kids about the things they do that have an impact on other and their own ethical well-being, working with each other,” Walter-Rowan said.
“And they (learned) things that they can do to ensure they are all contributing to a positive learning environment.”
