OPINION: Selfie takeover

The merging of the Internet and social media allows the socially awkward to do amazing things with just the touch of a single smartphone button.

Using the available software  they sometimes irk their small circle of friends with virtual, somewhat desperate cries for attention.

But modern technology has now given cyber-geeks, dweebs and nerds the tools they need to annoy millions of people at once with Internet efficiency.

Of all the annoying apps available, the number one irritant these days is the taking and posting on social media of millions of uncalled for selfies.

Phone users often hold their gadgets at arms length to take pictures of themselves and every detail of their lives, both real and virtual.

The social media sites are crammed with photos of these magic moments to the point of distraction – just count the number of selfies on the sites you frequent. 

Selfies are not just for commoners any more – celebrities, movies stars and royalty are covering the Internet with regal and equally uncalled for self-portraits.

Prince Andrew, Duke of York and a big fan of photography and technology, posted his first ever royal selfie on Twitter a year ago.

Like most selfies, Andrew’s picture was extremely unflattering and served no apparent purpose other than showing a royal doing his impression of a common fool.

His first selfie was taken during a benefit at St. James Palace and now royal watchers are eagerly awaiting his next posting.

Selfies, selfies everywhere and as if that weren’t enough, a new accessory promises to take this form of self-expression to new heights (or lows).

You may have noticed the “selfie-stick” already –your smartphone is attached to the end of this extendable stick to gain a new perspective.

It allows smartphone people to take higher, wider-angle selfies and include themselves in every self-gratifying shot they take.

These masterpieces are then quickly posted online so the entire world can view grinning strangers in some unknown location in front of a notable building or piece of art.

Selfie-sticks are selling like hotcakes – you can even buy one from a souvenir vendor on the streets of Venice and then selfie your way through European history.

Understandably, it didn’t take long for these sticks to become a nuisance and they are quickly being banned from certain locations.

Many museums and cultural institutions have banned the stick due to concerns about safety and hazardous behaviour in crowded galleries.

At least that’s what they say publicly – there is a strong, understated feeling that selfie behaviour lacks the class and sophistication of the finer things in life.

According to some, the stick has taken an annoying, intrusive habit (selfies) and extended its effective irritation range by about four feet.

The device is also banned in some soccer stadiums – nobody is willing to risk the nightmare of irate hooligans inflicting selfie-stick wounds to rival fans.

The behavioural scientists are having their say as well – they have discovered that every selfie you take sucks out a little bit of your soul.

A European study confirmed that those who post a lot of selfies have shallow relationships with real people.

Increased sharing of selfies is related to a decrease in intimacy and the study’s lead author found that excessive selfie sharing makes almost everyone like you less.

Think about that whenever you post a gym selfie, a pet selfie, a fast asleep selfie (think about it) or the most dreaded of all, the duck-face selfie.

The Globe and Mail also raised an interesting question - if Prince Andrew starts using a selfie stick will he become known as the Duke of Dork?