What in the world is filial piety? I came across this term while I was reading about the perils of aging here in Canada and in China. It seems we have something in common with our Chinese friends.
Filial piety is a fancy way to say respect for your elders. In China, for thousands of years, the oldest members of a family commanded the most respect.
In that country, wisdom, knowledge and experience is highly regarded and elders are consulted before important decisions are made. Even here in Canada, until a generation ago, elders had a respected place in our families and around the dinner table.
Many will remember The Waltons from the television series and the crucial role filled by Grandma and Grandpa Walton in that family. They earned their keep like the rest of the family and held their own with chores and other responsibilities. That used to be our role model.
But nowadays, not so much. In both countries middle class pressures and migration has created a rift between generations and many aging members of society are alone.
The problem is so severe in China that the government is considering a new law forcing children to care for their aging parents. If parents feel they are neglected they can take their kids to court.
China has an aging population just like Canada but due to its huge numbers, social problems are a million times worse and a million times more expensive.
Not only that, a low birth rate combined with increased life expectancy makes the situation even more challenging. The government doesn’t have the money to pay and the next generation of workers doesn’t really care to chip in.
If this law is passed, a married couple could be on the hook for the support of four aging parents. A generation ago it was an honor to care for elderly family members but the times are a-changin’.
China currently has 143 million elderly citizens. In less than 30 years that country will be home to 400 million people over 60. It will be very difficult for the government to convince working middle-class children to take care of their parents regardless of their honoured traditions.
If our Chinese friends would care to learn from the Canadian experience they should study the example of Shirley Anderson and her four estranged children.
Ms. Anderson’s daughter Donna cries whenever she recalls her tumultuous childhood years with her mother. Her brother Ken has been on his own since he was abandoned at 15 years of age. Neither of these two feel any particular filial responsibility for their mother. They haven’t seen her for years.
That’s why they were so surprised to discover that dear old Mom was suing them and two other siblings for financial support. Using a little-known section of BC’s Family Relations Act, Ms. Anderson is taking her kids to court.
The kids are balking and for good reason. This law was introduced in 1922 to address the worsening economic times of the day. Many legal experts consider it to be archaic and want it off the books.
So far the Anderson family has been tied up with costly legal procedures for 10 years and there is no real solution in sight. One of the children recently dropped dead. I don’t think this is the solution the Chinese are looking for.
In both Canada and China a smaller number of younger workers is financially responsible for a growing number of aging senior citizens. This cost will have to be paid either directly by their offspring or indirectly through increased taxation.
The financial burden is enormous but the money is probably not the most pressing issue for these lonely Chinese and Canadian parents. Like moms and dads the world over, they just want to spend some time with their kids without having to get a lawyer.
Caring for our aging parents is a moral decision with serious consequences, just like caring for newborn babies and the less fortunate. Most adults accept this responsibility but some families like the Andersons do not.
Regardless of the choice, morality can’t be legislated and enforced in a courtroom. These decisions are best made in the human heart.
The cost of caring for an elderly relative – considerable. The time required to add meaning and purpose to a loved one’s life – also considerable. The chance to feel the joy and satisfaction of a compassionate visit with mom and dad – priceless.
Filial piety is a fancy way to say respect for your elders. In China, for thousands of years, the oldest members of a family commanded the most respect.
In that country, wisdom, knowledge and experience is highly regarded and elders are consulted before important decisions are made. Even here in Canada, until a generation ago, elders had a respected place in our families and around the dinner table.
Many will remember The Waltons from the television series and the crucial role filled by Grandma and Grandpa Walton in that family. They earned their keep like the rest of the family and held their own with chores and other responsibilities. That used to be our role model.
But nowadays, not so much. In both countries middle class pressures and migration has created a rift between generations and many aging members of society are alone.
The problem is so severe in China that the government is considering a new law forcing children to care for their aging parents. If parents feel they are neglected they can take their kids to court.
China has an aging population just like Canada but due to its huge numbers, social problems are a million times worse and a million times more expensive.
Not only that, a low birth rate combined with increased life expectancy makes the situation even more challenging. The government doesn’t have the money to pay and the next generation of workers doesn’t really care to chip in.
If this law is passed, a married couple could be on the hook for the support of four aging parents. A generation ago it was an honor to care for elderly family members but the times are a-changin’.
China currently has 143 million elderly citizens. In less than 30 years that country will be home to 400 million people over 60. It will be very difficult for the government to convince working middle-class children to take care of their parents regardless of their honoured traditions.
If our Chinese friends would care to learn from the Canadian experience they should study the example of Shirley Anderson and her four estranged children.
Ms. Anderson’s daughter Donna cries whenever she recalls her tumultuous childhood years with her mother. Her brother Ken has been on his own since he was abandoned at 15 years of age. Neither of these two feel any particular filial responsibility for their mother. They haven’t seen her for years.
That’s why they were so surprised to discover that dear old Mom was suing them and two other siblings for financial support. Using a little-known section of BC’s Family Relations Act, Ms. Anderson is taking her kids to court.
The kids are balking and for good reason. This law was introduced in 1922 to address the worsening economic times of the day. Many legal experts consider it to be archaic and want it off the books.
So far the Anderson family has been tied up with costly legal procedures for 10 years and there is no real solution in sight. One of the children recently dropped dead. I don’t think this is the solution the Chinese are looking for.
In both Canada and China a smaller number of younger workers is financially responsible for a growing number of aging senior citizens. This cost will have to be paid either directly by their offspring or indirectly through increased taxation.
The financial burden is enormous but the money is probably not the most pressing issue for these lonely Chinese and Canadian parents. Like moms and dads the world over, they just want to spend some time with their kids without having to get a lawyer.
Caring for our aging parents is a moral decision with serious consequences, just like caring for newborn babies and the less fortunate. Most adults accept this responsibility but some families like the Andersons do not.
Regardless of the choice, morality can’t be legislated and enforced in a courtroom. These decisions are best made in the human heart.
The cost of caring for an elderly relative – considerable. The time required to add meaning and purpose to a loved one’s life – also considerable. The chance to feel the joy and satisfaction of a compassionate visit with mom and dad – priceless.
