THUNDER BAY – Crystal Hardy is a shining example of the benefits of foster care.
Growing up on a reserve in Rocky Bay First Nation, her mother turned to alcohol, drugs and prostitution, ultimately making her way to the west coast, where her family believes she eventually was murdered, likely at the hands of Canada’s most notorious serial killer, Robert Pickton.
As a teenager, she started heading down a dark path herself, admitting Friday to taking part in a break-and-enter or two as a youth.
Then she found foster care and her life turned around.
Her foster parents helped show her a better way, gave her confidence in herself and taught her she wasn’t responsible for the sins of her parents.
Today, she’s a nurse practitioner who is in the midst of pursuing a doctorate degree in nursing at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ont.
On Friday she was the keynote speaker as Dilico Anishinabek Family Care began a recruitment campaign for new foster parents, recalling being put in foster care in British Columbia before being brought home to Ontario.
“You can imagine the trauma I held on to for many years,” she said, pausing to collect her emotions. “I didn’t understand at the time why all these things were happening. I thought being put into foster care again was a bad thing.
“And honestly, I had a few kind of rough foster homes. The first home I was in, we got beat up pretty good. My mom never beat me up, so I didn’t understand how that was a safer space for me.”
Things changed in her home province.
“Coming back here, I was about 12, and having a lot of issues, a lot of hard times myself. Oftentimes we think Dilico is taking children, or taking people away. That’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is our families, we all need healing,” Hardy said.
“It takes a community, so when we have other people and other communities in our lives, it gives us the opportunity to learn tools from them, while our ancestors and our people are healing.”
The support she found made her the person she is today.
“I’ve been able to grow and I’ve actually been able to break the cycle in my family, in one generation. They pushed me to go to school ... I knew that something bigger was coming and I wanted to heal.”
Unfortunately in the foster world, there’s a misconception that one has to come from a certain background to be an acceptable foster choice.
That’s just not true, said Krista Zipper, who, along with her wife Jennifer Galbraith, has been fostering children for more than a year.
It was a natural choice, she said.
“For us, what it really came down to, it’s because we can. We have the space and the means and the extra love. Our big kids love it. Isabel and Lucas, it was them who really pushed us through and said you guys can do this, we’ve got the space, we’ve got the time.”
Carmella Hardy, director of child welfare at Dilico, said being foster parents is a rewarding experience that benefits both the parents and the children.
“We would like families to step forward to step forward and be part of our circle of care, to care for our children,” she said.
“Really, we look for families, single parents, even parents who have adult children at home. You’d be surprised at the individuals we look like to foster our children. We’d like to demystify some of the myths about who can foster. We just want love.”
For more information visit www.dilico.com/fostercare.
