Fighting violence

Ron Bourret was working as a police officer in Montreal when the Montreal Massacre happened on Dec. 6, 1989.

With the shock and sadness that followed and as a father of three daughters, the White Ribbon Campaign hits close to home for the chair of the Catholic Family Development Centre’s board of directors.

"This campaign means a lot to me as a man in our society, especially in our Thunder Bay community," he said Thursday morning at the launch of the 20th annual campaign to educate and involve men in the effort to end violence against women.

By wearing a white ribbon, a person pledges to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and children.

"It’s time men stepped up to the plate and not only become more accountable for the way they speak, but the way they even joke about the other gender and they way they behave in respect to issues that involve everything from being disrespectful to violence against women," said Bourret.

In 2004, the Thunder Bay Police Service responded to 1,100 reports of domestic disputes and in 2009 that number more than doubled to 2,300.

Bourret said he’s surprised by the jump in numbers because he thought the younger generation of men had embraced the issues and saw how wrong it was.

"It seems that’s not happening," he said. "If men don’t champion this – if our sons and our grandsons don’t see that we’re championing it, it’s going to be ‘oh, leave it up to mom’ mentality again."

The visibility factor is crucial in bringing credibility to the cause, added Bourret.

"There has to be a congregation of us men standing there saying enough is enough," he said. "People are well-meaning but when the young don’t see us really together, they see the women together on this and they think ‘oh, it’s a woman’s thing.’"

Diana Prairie, a counsellor at the CFDC, said when the campaign first started there was some resistance from people, even some women’s groups.

"They saw men as being the perpetrators, but the reality is we all recognize not all men are violent," she said, adding people often say women are violent too, so why not focus on them.

"We recognize that is the cause, but unfortunately…the stats show that it’s a greater majority of male-to-female violence," Prairie said.

As a counsellor, Prairie sees the effects of domestic violence firsthand, but unfortunately she sees people after the fact. But she still is able to support them through trying times and assist them to parent.

"As a mother when you’re in that situation there is so much stress related to surviving in that type of relationship, sometimes what happens is that relationship between the mother and child gets damaged," she said, noting the effects on children can be seen in the school systems.

Children act out and often it will be dismissed as attention deficit disorder or something similar, said Prairie.

"But the reality is if you were to look al little closer there might be things going on at home," she said.