THUNDER BAY - As any parent can attest to, raising children comes with a number of challenges, from changing diapers, to late night feedings, to calming a temper tantrum. But some mothers face an even greater challenge - the stigma of even being a parent.
“I was a parent at 16-years-old and I know the struggle and I know how it feels to have people look down at you or feel you are not capable of caring for your child in the way someone else older would,” said Brooklyn Chlebovec. “Whether I’m 16 or I’m 40, I’m a parent. And not a young parent or an old parent, I’m a parent.”
Our Kids Count and Leadership Thunder Bay are hoping to end the stigma surrounding young mothers and fathers through a video featuring parents speaking out their experiences having children before the age of 21.
Jackii Raynard, the young parent program facilitator with Our Kids Count, said having worked with young mothers through the Young Parents Program, she realized there is a lack of education in the general public when it comes to young parents raising children.
“When I started working with the young parents, they were talking about some of the incidents they’ve encountered so far being a young parent, so I thought this needs to be out there, we need to help fight this stigma,” she said.
The video, produced in partnership with Leadership Thunder Bay, details the stories of four young parents, who share experiences of being judged, finding appropriate programs and feeling welcomed, and not being taken seriously by medical or legal professionals.
According to Raynard, young mothers often have trouble with the health care system, where doctors may only speak with the grandparent of the child instead of the mother, something Chlebovec has experienced.
Chlebovec, now 24-years-old, is the mother of five children. She had her first daughter 10 days after her 16th birthday. From not being treated as an adult at the doctor’s office, Chlebovec said she has also had strangers come up to her in restaurants and lecture her about what to feed her children, or give her dirty looks on the bus when her child starts to cry.
“Children are children and whether I am older or younger, children are going to be the way they are,” she said.
Raynard knows just how these young mothers feel and she has been a part of the Young Parents Program since she became a young mother 20 years ago.
“I have a 19-year-old son and a 16-year-old daughter,” she said. “I remember the stigma back then so it feels good to be able to help fight the stigma that they are facing now.”
The message behind the video is to show that all parents, no matter how old or young they may be, are still parents, and just want the best for their children.
“Maybe it will have somebody step back and think: maybe that woman that is having a hard time with a child crying in an aisle is doing the best she can and I’ve been in that situation too, so maybe I should look at myself and think, every parent is equal,” Raynard said.
And that is what Chlebovec wants people to think and see, which she hopes will translate into actions to help lift young mothers and fathers up, rather than holding them down.
“Don’t look down on somebody because they are younger with children,” she said. “Maybe there is some way you can help them. Or advice to be given that somebody who is younger doesn’t know. But we don’t need to do it in a way that is going to be hurtful, we can try and lift everybody rather than drag people down.”
