Is gratitude a dying art?

Recently, my mother decided to try out for the Canadian Olympic gymnastics team. 

Obviously, she wasn’t successful.  But her attempted back flip with a twist on an escalator did catch the attention of the paramedics who came to her rescue.

After seven hours in the ER, she went home to rest with orders to return in a couple of days to check her sutures. 
So she did with a small gift and great thanks – much to the surprise of the doctor.

Gratitude seems to be a dying art.  We spend so much time complaining about everything – the weather, politics, other drivers – we barely take a moment to say “Thank you.”

Of course, it’s hardly part of our current social norm. Sure, if you appreciate your server, you add a hefty tip. 

Otherwise, we rarely feel the need to show gratitude when someone is simply doing their job. 

But it wasn’t always that way.  Our “please” and “thank yous” were drilled into us by our parents from the moment we started to reach for things.  Now we grunt a “thanks” without meaning it or say nothing at all. 

And it certainly isn’t supported in the media.  In books, movies, on television, no one expresses real gratitude. 

Unless someone has performed a life-saving surgery on Grey’s Anatomy, the appreciation shown on TV tends to be more subtle.
The characters stare at each other – usually from across a room – and give a slight nod.  Silence becomes a much more powerful and dramatic communicator because … they just know … and verbal confirmation isn’t necessary. 

When a formal “thank you” is actually shown, it’s often at a distance with a musical soundtrack to drown out the dialogue. 

Occasionally, comedies will go all-out and overdo someone’s gratitude for a laugh. Or use it as a set-up for the standard comedic insult. 
So in a society that takes its cues from the media, it’s no surprise that many of us don’t know how to show our appreciation. We have so few examples to follow.

According to a series of studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, saying thank you has a very strong effect on both the person giving and the person receiving. 

With regular use, it improves personal relationships, increases productivity in the workplace and boosts self-esteem.
Back in the ’90s, Oprah Winfrey touted Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book Simple Abundance, which suggested the use of a gratitude journal. 

The idea was to remind yourself of all the things in your life for which you should be grateful. 

It’s still a good idea. 

But I suggest we take it a step further. Rather than write down your gratefulness privately for your own spiritual health and wellbeing, try telling everyone else.

One helping-hand, open door, Egg McMuffin-serving, ambulance ride at a time.