Over the holidays, I indulged in a few marathon sessions aimed at catching up on my saved PVR recordings from the fall.
During these sloth-like sessions I noticed something in particular. Is it just me or is television trying to gross us out?
True, I’ve always been a bit squeamish.
Blood’s not a problem, but other bodily fluids will cause me a few facial spasms and a bit of excess bile.
Consequently, you won’t see me glued to the set for hit cable shows like The Walking Dead and Dexter. Apparently, others are not as put off by the visuals of gaping wounds or dismembered bodies.
But hey, everybody’s different. That’s why they created the remote control. (That, and we couch potatoes were too lazy to turn the dial. Of course, now there’s no dial to turn so once again, it seems that the potatoes have won.)
I know that the CSI franchises will try to push the Envelope of Ew in every episode as they emphasize the science of catching the bad guy.
And with fair media warning, I knew that TLC’s Virgin Diaries was going to have lip-lock moments that, rather than full widescreen format, might better be viewed on a little Windows media player via YouTube.
What has surprised me is the amount of ick popping up in otherwise seemingly safe TV fodder.
Traditional network programs are now sneaking in realistic, graphic and gritty images without telling me. If I wanted realism, would I be watching TV?
I’ve been lured into Once Upon a Time with its Into the Woods-style backstories that intertwine and show another side of our childhood fairy tales.
It’s creative and interesting, dragging the viewer back and forth between the characters’ present and their fairy tale past.
Unfortunately, it’s also tapping into my aversion to poor dental hygiene. Rumpelstiltskin – a.k.a. Mr. Gold – of today could use an orthodontist.
But his fairy tale persona looks like he’s been chewing on a week’s worth of red gummy worms.
NBC’s Grimm fares no better. The ghouls, goblins, gargoyles and gore of this show are more than my stomach can bear.
I much prefer the sanitized and Disney-fied versions of my childhood. And while my favourite album was a collection of Grimm’s fables, Danny Kaye’s voice was a creepy enough narrator for my over-active imagination.
I certainly didn’t need the images personified in high-def.
Of course, not all the goo on network TV is due to fairyland. Based on its title, Fear Factor should pit man against his greatest terrors.
However, I doubt anyone’s anxiety is centred around a Horse Rectum or Maggoty Cheese as some of the stunts were labeled.
And now Rob Schneider is starring in his own prime time comedy! Is there no end to the ick?
It’s enough to make me lose my appetite.
But I guess after a holiday of excess and couch potato-ing, it may just be the best diet plan around.
