Who's watching the football game?

Rumour has it there was a football game on Sunday.

I’m taking this under advisement as Monday morning’s media chatter seemed to focus on other, more important matters: commercials costing $3.5 million, someone’s egregious digit, and an underwear model whining about her husband’s lack of dexterity. 

You’d expect Super Bowl XLVI to be the number one most talked about show – and it is. But who talked about the game? In the days leading up to it, companies were leaking previews of their game-day commercials while restaurants were promoting their nacho platters on CNN. 

And $3.5 million for 30 seconds of airtime? Why spend so much when non-NFLers like myself could see it for free online? 

And some of the best ads seemed to go to the dogs – losing weight to chase a Volks-waggin’; committing cat-ricide and buying a witness’ silence with Doritos; moonwalking across the finish line in a pair of Skechers.

Despite playing second fiddle to a few puppies, human stars also jumped on the bandwagon. 

Clint Eastwood shocked and yes, disappointed me with his “Ode to America” in the form of a Chrysler commercial. Jerry Seinfeld was expected, but Matthew Broderick? My Ferris would never have sold himself out. 

Madonna’s half-time show brought cheers and jeers with dozens of dancers, a collection of guest artists and even a tightrope walker.  But she was a surprisingly tame and family-friendly Material Girl. 

Then came M.I.A.’s misplaced middle finger.  You’d think sharing the stage with Madge would bring enough prestige and notoriety.  Apparently not. 

M.I.A. created her own “wardrobe malfunction” that censors didn’t catch in time. While many didn’t even know who she was, the British singer was certainly going to make sure they talked about her.  Ironic, given her moniker. 

And then there’s Gisele Bundchen’s post-game show-stopper.  Ah, my poor, simple-minded Tweet! First, she begged friends to pray for her husband. Apparently, the Church of Football is looking for new parishioners. 

Then, after the loss, she blamed it on Tom Brady’s inability to throw and catch the ball at the same time – shouldn’t he be able to do at least one? – and his teammates’ tendencies to drop it like it’s hot. 

I guess there’s a reason why models are usually seen, not heard. 

No, despite a thrilling game and the most watched show in U.S. history, the hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl has, once again, focused on, well, … the hoopla … instead of the bowl. 

These are the two best teams in the league this year; true Gladiators of the Gridiron. 

They are rough, tough, overpaid, and likely to show the effects of CTE brain damage in a few years.  But instead of focusing on their tight ends, we were entranced by a GoDaddy.com commercial and a hand gesture. 

Perhaps they should just get rid of the football altogether.  It really seems superfluous when a finger is in the spotlight.