Belated Valentine

Valentine’s Day is over but for true Romeos like me the week after Feb. 14 is full of romantic opportunities too, and at a much more reasonable price.

If you visit local candy counters on Valentine’s Boxing Day you will see many hopeless romantics standing in line with red velvet, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates tucked under their arms.  Their love knows no bounds.

Skeptics might say that this is just an excuse to get good, cheap, fancy chocolates but chocoholics not with standing, you can feel (and taste) the love this time of year. I’m telling you, it’s all about the romance.

Everybody knows cocoa beans are on the list of top aphrodisiac foods.  Nutritionists have discovered that chocolates are good for the heart. Cupid agrees. It does something to the neurotransmitters in the brain – you know, the romantic ones. It tastes good, too.

But you don’t have to limit your culinary flirtations to the candy shop. Frisky couples have been experimenting with frisky foods for centuries.

Oysters have a sexy reputation dating back to the second century AD. Pine nuts have been a key ingredient in love potions for many years.

Some aphrodisiac foods such as asparagus have suggestive shapes.  Asparagus spears also boost histamine production which is essential for certain romantic responses. 

Avocados were referred to by the Aztecs as “Ahuacuati,” which is roughly translated to mean testicle tree.

I’ve noticed lately there is a lot of asparagus and avocados on local grocery store shelves. Look for a sharp rise in Thunder Bay’s birth rate over the next nine months or so. 

Other foods on the A-list include figs, if they are broken open and eaten properly and also honey, which is described as a modern day edible prop. It sounds like sticky business to me.

I was surprised to find basil on the list of aphrodisiacs. Women used to dust their bosoms with this aromatic herb to keep their men from straying. Of course it’s hard to say whether their romantic partners were motivated by true love or the promise of Italian food for supper.

They must sell a lot of basil, figs and avocados in Kingston, Ont., which was recently awarded the title of Canada’s most romantic city.

When I share this information with people I meet the common, puzzled reaction is, “Kingston?” 

Ontario boasts almost half of the top 20 romantic cities in the country. Guelph is No. 2 for the second consecutive year. Thunder Bay’s lovers only managed to seduce their way to No. 16, just behind Burlington and ahead of Barrie and Brantford. Don’t feel bad; Toronto and Ottawa didn’t even make the list.

I think our city was distinctly disadvantaged by the romantic ranking criteria. The rating of the cuddliest Canadian cities didn’t even consider edible aphrodisiacs. It was based on the sale of specific items such as romance novels, romantic comedies, sex and relationship books and of course, Michael Bublé CDs. Chocolate consumption wasn’t even considered.

I’m sure that’s how Kamloops, B.C. secured its top 10 ranking on the romance list. That city is Canada’s biggest buyer of Bublé paraphernalia. Five other Bublé-loving B.C. cities also made the list thanks to their crush on this home-grown crooner. Give me a break. Haven’t they ever heard of Thunder Bay sensation Bobby Curtola?

Based on the number of secret candy Casanovas buying up left over chocolate, or even the total sales of heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, I’m sure Thunder Bay would quickly emerge as the romantic hot spot of Northwestern ¬On¬tario. Here in the Northwest we do our wooing with cinnamon hearts and chocolate kisses. Candy is still dandy in these parts.

Still, our 16th place ranking on the romance roster is a bit of an embarrassment to local lovers who have been buying and giving red, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates for years. Sometimes we even buy them before Feb. 14 when we have to pay full price. How’s that for true love and romance?

It’s time for Thunder Bay’s romantic community to move beyond chocolate and explore the broader world of Bublé, romance and assorted edible aphrodisiacs. Dudes, would it hurt you to eat a fig once in a while? And ladies, when was the last time you brushed your bosom with basil?

We claim to have a giant heart in Thunder Bay and with a little dedication and hard work we could easily overtake Kingston as Canada’s City of Love. Happy belated Valentine’s Day.