It’s tough being a dad at Christmas. Dads are expected to behave like Bing Crosby or the guy from The Night Before Christmas but most of the time they end up looking like a cross between Clark Griswald and Bad Santa.
I have played the role of Dad at many Christmas Eves, mornings and dinners and even though my intentions were always good, I’ve been accused of ruining Christmas on more than one occasion. I’m sure many dads in this city and around the country share my pain.
But once again this year I am determined to be on my best behaviour.
The halls have been decked, the bells are a-jinglin’ and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. And let’s face it, it wouldn’t be Christmas if there weren’t a couple of dads getting underfoot and making inappropriate comments.
One of the duties of Christmas Dad is to take care of Christmas Mom’s gift needs. I have also been filling this role for years and as any dad will tell you, this is a very delicate task.
In order to be a successful giver it is necessary to display the correct mix of sensitivity, romance and generosity without being too gaudy or stupid or just plain ridiculous. I’ve worn those hats before.
Some time ago I overheard a conversation between two friends in a hardware store. One of them was Christmas shopping for his wife. The previous year she was totally unimpressed with the electric can opener he gave her. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
After discussing the pros and cons of a number of small kitchen appliances they both agreed that for his own peace of mind he had better do the right thing by his wife. He decided to go whole hog for Christmas this year and he set off down the aisle to find a real good hand mixer for the little woman.
I was thinking about that conversation when I decided that I would do some research to find out what women really want for Christmas in 2010. I thought the World Wide Web would have all the answers to my gift-giving dilemma.
Unfortunately, I was dealing with amateurs.
I looked at the list of absolute best gift ideas for “her.” The first suggestion was a bottle of today’s fresh and fragrant perfumes. They even spelled out the names of a few favourite scents but they all had pretentious French labels and with my high school French I would be too embarrassed to even say them out loud. Non, merci.
Next on the list was a thoughtful selection of organic skin care products. This one also boggled my mind. I can’t imagine any woman ever trusting the care of her skin to any man much less use any product he selected.
The same goes for the basket of luxurious hair care products as well. These list people actually expect a dude to speak to his lady’s hairdresser about her favorite shampoo and mousse. Who’s making this list anyway? Were any real dads consulted? Dads don’t talk to hairdressers, not even their own.
There was nothing helpful on the list. A gift of chic and stylish fashions perhaps? Would any husbands out there care to shop for some of today’s hottest styles? You could even throw in a sophisticated handbag or clutch purse or some other accessories. Your woman will love you for it.
I tried to give the gift of fashion one year for Christmas. I think the effort was appreciated but my wife kept asking me if I was sure I kept all the receipts. Every item went back. Lesson learned. It turns out I can’t dress myself either.
After all there weren’t many suggestions on the list I could use. After decades of giving bad presents I am still on my own.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t need a hand mixer.
That’s OK. I have a few ideas. You know, a little bit of whimsy, a touch of nostalgia and a whole lot of class. I can’t tell you what it is. She might find out and I don’t want to ruin Christmas this year by spoiling the surprise.
It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it. Merry Christmas to all the dads out there. I know you mean well but try not to ruin anything.
Merry Christmas to Mom and the kids, too. We couldn’t do it without you.
I have played the role of Dad at many Christmas Eves, mornings and dinners and even though my intentions were always good, I’ve been accused of ruining Christmas on more than one occasion. I’m sure many dads in this city and around the country share my pain.
But once again this year I am determined to be on my best behaviour.
The halls have been decked, the bells are a-jinglin’ and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. And let’s face it, it wouldn’t be Christmas if there weren’t a couple of dads getting underfoot and making inappropriate comments.
One of the duties of Christmas Dad is to take care of Christmas Mom’s gift needs. I have also been filling this role for years and as any dad will tell you, this is a very delicate task.
In order to be a successful giver it is necessary to display the correct mix of sensitivity, romance and generosity without being too gaudy or stupid or just plain ridiculous. I’ve worn those hats before.
Some time ago I overheard a conversation between two friends in a hardware store. One of them was Christmas shopping for his wife. The previous year she was totally unimpressed with the electric can opener he gave her. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
After discussing the pros and cons of a number of small kitchen appliances they both agreed that for his own peace of mind he had better do the right thing by his wife. He decided to go whole hog for Christmas this year and he set off down the aisle to find a real good hand mixer for the little woman.
I was thinking about that conversation when I decided that I would do some research to find out what women really want for Christmas in 2010. I thought the World Wide Web would have all the answers to my gift-giving dilemma.
Unfortunately, I was dealing with amateurs.
I looked at the list of absolute best gift ideas for “her.” The first suggestion was a bottle of today’s fresh and fragrant perfumes. They even spelled out the names of a few favourite scents but they all had pretentious French labels and with my high school French I would be too embarrassed to even say them out loud. Non, merci.
Next on the list was a thoughtful selection of organic skin care products. This one also boggled my mind. I can’t imagine any woman ever trusting the care of her skin to any man much less use any product he selected.
The same goes for the basket of luxurious hair care products as well. These list people actually expect a dude to speak to his lady’s hairdresser about her favorite shampoo and mousse. Who’s making this list anyway? Were any real dads consulted? Dads don’t talk to hairdressers, not even their own.
There was nothing helpful on the list. A gift of chic and stylish fashions perhaps? Would any husbands out there care to shop for some of today’s hottest styles? You could even throw in a sophisticated handbag or clutch purse or some other accessories. Your woman will love you for it.
I tried to give the gift of fashion one year for Christmas. I think the effort was appreciated but my wife kept asking me if I was sure I kept all the receipts. Every item went back. Lesson learned. It turns out I can’t dress myself either.
After all there weren’t many suggestions on the list I could use. After decades of giving bad presents I am still on my own.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t need a hand mixer.
That’s OK. I have a few ideas. You know, a little bit of whimsy, a touch of nostalgia and a whole lot of class. I can’t tell you what it is. She might find out and I don’t want to ruin Christmas this year by spoiling the surprise.
It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it. Merry Christmas to all the dads out there. I know you mean well but try not to ruin anything.
Merry Christmas to Mom and the kids, too. We couldn’t do it without you.
