Gone, not deleteled

Around the world this year 1.7 million Facebook users will die.  Fortunately for me, I won’t be one of them. I don’t use Facebook. 

Don’t be alarmed, cyber-geeks.  As far as I know Facebook won’t kill you outright but of all the people who pass away in 2011, including Steve Jobs, many will be former users of this popular social network.

They will also be former users of other online services such as Twitter, YouTube, MySpace, etc. and many financial and commercial sites.  There may even be some other more questionable applications. Much of this cyber babble will be password protected.

Most people don’t even think about what will happen to all their online information after they pass on to that big internet in the sky.  We assume that once somebody pulls our Internet plug all those billions of personal bits and bytes just float around forever in electronic limbo.

We don’t seem to care much about what happens to our bodies after we die. It comes down to a choice between incineration and composting. But our spiritual souls and now, our virtual souls, are of greater concern.

Spirituality is a personal matter for most people but your online presence is there for everybody to see. Whether we like it or not, everything we ever do on the web becomes part of our cyber profile and this electronic record may be our legacy, or possibly even our curse after death. 

Family and friends may discover things about us that we would prefer to take to the grave. Long forgotten emails and indiscretions may come back to haunt our families long after we’re gone. If you drop dead what would be left behind on your computer? Have you been doing any suspect Googling lately? 

Dying, at least the prep work, just became a lot more complicated. If you thought you had your affairs in order, think again. Before you go you might want to make a few decisions about your digital afterlife.

Other than the inevitable family squabbles, material possessions are relatively easy to dispose of.  You just give all your stuff to other people.  They keep some and throw away the rest.

But what happens to your so-called digital assets such as online funds, photographs, music ¬li¬bra-ries and countless other digital memorabilia? 

Who gets access to all that? Think about all the sensitive information that is locked away in cyberspace. Who gets the passwords when you die?

Fortunately, my friends, the Grim Reaper is an entrepreneur. Your digital legacy can be professionally managed, for a fee, so that you can plan and engineer your remembrance to your exact specifications.  A number of online services are available to take care of the details for you.

Then you can truly R.I.P.

There are two types of digital assets - economic sites such as banking, shopping and investment portfolios and sentimental sites where you share your photos, intimate thoughts, dreams and nightmares. Both assets are equally important to many people. 

By subscribing to this online service you can arrange to have your cyber affairs stored in a virtual safety deposit box. 

At the moment of your death your passwords will be revealed and your appointed cyber executor will step in.  Your assets will be protected. Your deep, dark secrets will be destroyed forever (supposedly).

Accounts will be closed, and hopefully, your legacy and your reputation will be exactly what you requested. Creative types can even engineer different identities altogether. After all, this will be your rep for all time.

The Digital Death Industry is even changing the way we grieve.  Around here we usually get together to hug and support our loved ones, share some heartfelt stories and have some coffee and little sandwiches. 

If not for weddings and funerals some people would never see each other at all.

Now we can send online condolences and support our grieving friends and family through social networks. 

Soon all those quaint, old-fashioned traditions will be replaced with iPhones, apps and those annoying little smiley faces that pass for compassion these days. 

Those same people may never see each other in person again.

As for the coffee and sandwiches, maybe you can order a virtual meat tray or a muffin basket online and have it delivered to the deceased’s Facebook page before it goes into memorial mode.

I’m glad my mother isn’t around for this.  What’s the electronic equivalent of rolling over in her grave?