To the editor:
I feel compelled to comment on last week’s news article “Thunder Bay Paramedics frustrated with workload and staffing issues”. The article commented on the dead eyes and empty souls that many paramedics have become. I was one of those empty souls with dead eyes.
I worked as an Advanced Care Paramedic in Thunder Bay for 30 years (1989- 2019), before I went off sick with PTSD. The reason I broke down was due to a complete lack of support and education in the workplace. Believe it or not I didn’t receive any type of psychological training at all throughout my entire career. Game changing coping skills weren’t introduced to me until I completely broke down; this is completely backwards and this is at the heart of the problem. The only advice I was given was to go home have a couple of beers and try and forget about the traumas I was exposed to. Sadly, I used alcohol to cope for far too many years. Alcohol brought on more anger, more depression and more anxiety, and it had devastating effects on my sleep. I spent my days half asleep and my nights half awake. Alcohol only compounded my troubles pushing me further and further down the wrong road. I felt like I was an elastic band being stretched year after year, trauma after trauma, until one day in 2019 it snapped…I snapped. I was then enrolled in the WSIB Mental Stress Injury Program.
The onset of my stress injury was insidious, not from one terrible event, but from hundreds of sad and awful interactions with people who were truly suffering. I witnessed people suffer in their very darkest of days, exposing myself to every type of trauma you can imagine. My stress injury started with anxiety, and then evolved into anger, which transitioned into rage. I was stuck in an endless cycle of negative thought patterns. I tried running from all of the fears and anxiety, but no matter how fast I ran or how far I ran I couldn’t out run them, they followed me like a shadow. I became an extremely pessimistic person, and this negativity settled onto those I love like a heavy weight. PTSD is like a virus, you infect those around you without even knowing it, including family members. I had no idea I was infecting those around me with the ugly by-products of PTSD, because I was lost in my own head. After a significant stress injury, I was truly lost. My career had been an anchor point in my life. Much of my identity was wrapped up in being a paramedic. I had no idea who I was or what my purpose would be without paramedicine. I began to spin out of control, becoming emotionally inaccessible to everyone who was important to me.
What saved me was the team at WSIB, who took the time to help me, and connect me with the resources to aid in my recovery. I was provided an exceptional psychologist as well as a very compassionate occupational therapist. Together they taught me how to slow down my racing mind, that felt like a run-away train. Both of them stressed that in order to recover I needed to put myself first. I, like many first responders, found it difficult to put myself first. Many caregivers find it easier to take care of others than to be good to themselves. I was one of those people. Reconnecting with family members was equally difficult. I had inadvertently pushed away the people I love, causing them Secondary Trauma Stress Disorder (STSD). I first learned how to cope with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and then I was encouraged to share my coping skills with my wife. Sharing these skills with my wife proved to be paramount, because we learned together, and, over time we were able to bring down the level of anxiety that had plagued our household. These coping skills can even be shared with children because the skills are so simple and basic. They need to be learned and applied through repetition. Coping skills arm us with the tools to process trauma and anxiety instead of running from them. Therapy taught me that expression is the opposite of depression. One example is the incredible power of journaling. Everything in my life changed when I stopped running and started writing. Therapy completely changed my life and allowed me to return to my family a whole man again.
Not only is there a complete lack of support for paramedics, but management has no idea how to deal with stress injuries. My elastic band snapped when management actually used the signs of PTSD against me and poured fuel on a raging fire that was already out of control. I raised my concerns to Human Resources, as well as top city officials on several occasions, only to fall on deaf ears. After several discussions with HR, I question whether or not they think PTSD even exists, not only for paramedics but for all first responders. The city made their position very clear to me; they are holding all of the cards. They certainly are holding all the cards but they are cheating. They are cheating first responders and family members, including children, out of the education and support they so desperately need. Furthermore, they are also cheating the taxpayer out of millions of dollars with WSIB premiums soon to skyrocket into the TENS of millions. Preventative maintenance is the answer, because improving employees’ lives starts with improving their personal lives, as well as their families’ lives.
The focus for first responders who are experiencing manifestations of PTSD needs to be on early education and prevention, so my story doesn’t become their story. Teach both staff and management to recognise the signs early and to provide early intervention. Just like cancer, early diagnosis means early recovery. The entire culture is in need of change, and it needs to start at the top, the very top. Educating first responders together with family members is also key. Family members see the signs first so it only makes sense to educate them what to look for. Many family members suffer from secondary trauma stress disorder because the lines of communications get cut off due to the sufferer self-isolating. The lack of coping skills has caused first responders and their family members to be suffering in silence for far too long. Paramedic staffing crisis is about to get a whole lot worse until the city acknowledges PTSD exists and takes action to educate not only front-line staff but management as well. First responders are there for the public when they call 911. Now first responders are calling 911. Is the public going to be there for them?
Pat Dixon,
Thunder Bay
