Just like many of my fellow Canadians I am saddened and dismayed by the antics of some dishonourable members in Ottawa.
But all this turmoil has shown me something. Our country needs to go through several stages of recovery before we can ever hope to rise above this national disgrace.
Some of the steps we have been through so far include accusation, denial, counter-accusation, cat fighting, macho grunting and head butting.
There is also documented evidence of name calling, bullying, tattling, spin doctoring, intimidation and whining.
It reminds me a lot of high school.
But now that we’ve gotten all those childish primal urges out of our system we can finally get on with the most enjoyable and productive stage – ridicule.
Canadians like to laugh and they can even see humour in the disgraceful conduct of our elected and unelected representatives, although it really is no joke.
Our national psyche has been bruised and battered but the country is responding with its own version of shock and awe – mock and guffaw.
This sordid scandal will be a festering wound for years, at least until the next election, so why not take a few cheap shots now and have some good natured fun until then.
So let the ridicule begin. Let sarcasm and satire spray from the lips of fun-loving Canucks and wash away the lies and deceit like acid rain on a forest of coneheads.
I’ll get things started by reviving an old joke. I hear it was so cold in Ottawa the other day that the Senators had their hands in their own pockets for a change.
Actually, I can’t take credit for that line just as I can’t claim to be the first one to poke fun or throw a few well-deserved verbal darts.
That honour goes to the federal NDP, which struck a blow for levity last weekend during the Conservative convention in Calgary.
They chose that occasion to introduce the Senate Hall of Shame, a series of 99 baseball style Senator cards with colour photos, senatorial stats and juicy gossip.
For example, from Senator Wallin’s card we learn that she was appointed to the Senate in 2009 and will be eligible for her six figure pension in 2028.
Her brief bio explains that although she claims to be from Saskatchewan she “really lives in Toronto when she isn’t crossing the country campaigning on the taxpayers’ dime.”
Her career stats are subject to change but years from now a Pamela Wallin rookie card in mint condition will probably be a collector’s item.
At the very least these cards will be remembered as Canadian political curiosities along with such quirky memorabilia as Diefenbucks and Steve Harper’s argyle sweater vest.
Mike “I won’t go quietly” Duffy (retirement 2021) has his own card in the Hall of Shame deck. He also travels the country a lot as he tries to find his way home, wherever that is.
Senator Patrick Brazeau has a record of bad attendance, sexist insults and, of course, the usual residence issues.
He would surely like to hang on to his Senate seat and continue nosing at the trough until his future retirement in 2049.
Imagine what his card will say in three decades or so.
I applaud the federal NDP for helping us laugh at ourselves during troubled times. It’s better than hanging our heads in despair.
Still, there are 99 cards in the deck of shame and the House of Commons contains many other shameful members who may soon get their own rookie cards.
That’s no laughing matter. In fact, it’s a crying shame.
