OPINION: As the vortex turns

I invite all my friends to join me outside (you’ll need a parka) where we will shake our fists high in the air and scream out loud, “Curse you polar vortex!”

There is a widespread feeling across Canada that we are slowly and relentlessly freezing to death and there’s nothing we can do about it.

A big bulge of bitter cold weather is nosing its way down over North America, referred to by some as a “Polar Pig,” which it truly is if you ask me.

Others have named this phenomenon “Santa’s Revenge” – maybe he is upset because the North Pole is melting.

The real culprit is something called the polar vortex, a hard-driving cyclone high in the Arctic that is spreading an icy hell as far south as Georgia and Florida.

It remains to be seen if this is the coldest winter on record but that punishing blast of frosty arctic air has been nipping at Canadian noses for months.

There is no relief on the horizon and we have nobody to blame except ourselves, especially if global warming is somehow behind all this shivering.

The Americans are blaming Canada – after all, the polar vortex is funneling Canadian Arctic air down over their frozen cities and clogging their streets with mountains of snow.

But before we start blaming each other we should look at the science.

There has always been a huge polar vortex, a type of high-powered arctic twister, swirling around the North Pole like a frozen hurricane.
The centre of the rotating vortex is calm and cold with a temperature of -80 degrees Celsius.

It is driven at high speeds and high altitudes by the jet stream and these strong winds normally prevent the huge volume of super-chilled air from rolling south towards Thunder Bay.

This year something caused the vortex to spill over, sending frigid air tumbling south and east through Canada and the U.S.

Nobody knows if this is part of a natural cycle or if arctic warming is changing the jet stream, allowing this pesky arctic bulge to freeze us out.

It doesn’t really matter whether it’s global warming or something else altogether, there are complex and unpredictable disruptions in normal climate patterns worldwide.

It has been colder in the past – the coldest year on record was the winter of 1971-72 when the national average temperature in Canada was 3.5 degrees lower than normal.

Last winter was mild for most of the country with readings of 1.6 degrees above average.

The warmest ever recorded was 2009-10 when the Canadian average was 4.1 degrees over normal.

These numbers seem small but tiny changes generate the awesome power of blizzards, tornadoes and the minus 40 deep freeze we now enjoy.

Canadians have a complex relationship with the weather – we complain about it constantly and yet we still brag about being the tough and hardy northerners we are.

Just like everything else, the weather has been sensationalized and forecasters are always on the lookout for Mother Nature’s next weather bomb.

We have to learn a new weather jargon which includes frostquakes (with sonic booms), freezing fog and thunder snowstorms.

And now we are at the mercy of a huge, swirling, blast-chilled mega-twister parked over the North Pole, ready to throw more icy thunderbolts our way.

If you’re hoping for an early spring, forget it – you’ll need your parka until May.

My advice is to keep on the sunny side – it will be cold but the forecasters say the skies will be clear and bright.

Spring will arrive eventually but until then, “Curse you polar vortex!’