If dogs could talk I wonder what they would say about their relationship with people.
Man’s best friend is in the spotlight lately as we try to understand how packs of ferocious wolves transformed into loveable, furry creatures that now share our beds.
A dog’s needs are simple and basic – food, shelter and procreation (optional). Anything more than that is not really required but that doesn’t stop us from lavishing the frills on Fido.
Some behavioural scientists are alarmed by the extent of pet pandering and claim that it is possible to love your pet too much, to the detriment of both the animal and its owner.
“Nonsense,” say pet lovers. Love is not finite. How can you possibly love anything or anybody too much?
Both sides have strong cases but I did discover a few bizarre examples of how far some people will go to keep their pets, and themselves, satisfied.
We spend billions of dollars every year on pets, buying cutesy chew toys, designer dog foods and amulet urns so we can wear our dear, departed dog ashes around our necks.
We push pugs around in baby strollers, paint their claws with flashy nail polish and dress them up in fancy designer outfits.
One current trend is to include a favourite pet as part of the wedding party. First stop – Bitch New York, a high fashion dog retailer featuring the hottest trends in canine couture.
Or possibly My Uptown Pooch, where customized designer dog bridal dresses and mutt tuxedos range from $75 to a cool $10,000.
How much do you love your dog? Some people love little poochie so much it breaks their heart to see those sad eyes when they leave for work.
I guess that’s why more than 300,000 dogs have been put on medication for separation anxiety and depression. It makes their owners feel less guilty about leaving them behind.
Around $30 billion is spent every year on pet health care in the U.S., a country where millions of human people have no medical coverage at all.
One very common elective, surgical procedure for pets is neutering.
This is a responsible decision but it can be traumatic, especially for the owners who have their pet’s package altered.
Not to worry. You can have the missing testicles replaced with something called “neuticals” – testicular implants for pets. Growing a pair has never been easier.
Yes, we pamper our pets, with no regrets, to win their love and admiration. The thing is, we could accomplish just as much with a scratch behind the ear and a dish of dog food.
So why do we do it? Some psychologists say we are turning to animals to get the emotional connections that modern society can’t provide.
Rather than build a long-lasting relationship with people, some people use pets as starter spouses or baby surrogates.
Animals are easier to love than people. They are dependent on us, they don’t talk back and they shield us from our own anxieties and difficulties dealing with people.
Human relationships require more give and take, with more complex expectations. With people, you must negotiate and take risks.
Many prefer the hassle-free devotion and companionship of a pet.
What does this say about our relationships with each other?
We’ll never know what, if anything, goes through a dog’s mind when we speak to it with baby talk or scratch its belly or scoop up its poop.
However, I have reason to believe they aren’t completely satisfied with the arrangement either.
I once asked a dog how life was treating him.
All he said was, “Ruff.”
