I was listening to the radio the other day when I heard an alarming story. According to an obscure French magazine, Canadians are unattractive. On a list of the most attractive people in the world, Canada wasn’t even mentioned in the top 25 most gorgeous countries.
In fact, we rated so poorly that we were included on a side list of the five most unattractive nations on Earth. It seemed a little harsh so I listened for more details.
According to this alleged report we scrunch up our faces, which makes us look slightly Neanderthal. We wear sweatpants and a lot of heavy clothing to hide our bodies and we come across as a broken, apologetic people desperately searching for international approval.
I was a little offended, but then I realized I was listening to a very convincing spoof. It was a parody of our unassuming, polite, parka-wearing Canadian persona. I was amused by the fake interview but it still made me wonder how attractive we really are to the rest of the world.
Everybody thinks that Canada is a pretty good country full of generally decent people but that doesn’t make us very attractive. We are well-respected and have a nice personality but many still regard us as America’s nerdy northern cousin.
Thousands of British citizens were recently surveyed to determine which tourists they found most attractive. Topping the list was the good old U.S.A., home of George Clooney and Jessica Biel.
Not everybody agrees. British writer Toby Young protested the top U.S. ranking. He referred to Americans as “ork-like creatures with low foreheads, hairy hands and torsos pumped full of custard.” Now that’s harsh. Even Canadians fared better than that.
Brazil and Spain were numbers two and three. Squeaking in at number 10 was Canada, home to the Ugly Bob character from South Park and popular, well-known TV personality Rex Murphy.
Canadian celebrities may not be as appealing as No. 6 (Swedes) or even No. 9 (the French) but our beauty is more rugged and durable, not just skin deep. There is inner beauty under those sweats and parkas.
Travelers Digest went in a different direction by listing the cities of the world with the most beautiful women. Kiev, Ukraine topped the list. Accordingly, Ukrainian-born actress Mila Kunis has lately been called the sexiest woman alive.
Not only that, those gorgeous Ukes are well-educated and well known for their intelligence and friendliness. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were also good cooks.
Beautiful men are treated quite differently. They aren’t listed by city or country and nobody really cares how smart or friendly they are. The only two adjectives used to describe attractive dudes are “hot” and “sexy.”
I did eventually find a current list of super hunks but there were no Canucks mentioned. Ashton Kucher is number one and, accordingly, he is dating the aforementioned Ukrainian goddess. Our friend George Clooney is holding on to number eight. Rex Murphy was completely overlooked again.
When I think about our country it seems that Canadians are a great looking bunch. I was a little disappointed that Canada and Canadians aren’t considered more attractive.
It just doesn’t make sense to me. This country is home to thousands of attractive Ukrainian people from coast to coast. That alone should be enough to pretty up our cities.
Many Ukrainian families call Thunder Bay home and we surely have Kiev beauties living and working right in our own community. Think about that the next time Baba serves you a plate of perogies with fried onions.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
